@problematicfacts

You two would get along so well…

All I’m hearing is that I need to chug down this tub of lard and get some sleep. Peace, y’all. I’ll be incredibly gorgeous by next week.

Good lord. Imagine a perfect being this perpetually angry over their own creation against the grand backdrop of the universe.

(psst Por qué no los dos)

This is hilarious. I especially liked the “no drip or rizz, you waddle out to the nearest club or bar”. I could hear the SpongeBob footsteps.

Those briefs are incredibly unflattering for that model, now imagine them on the average Joe. Ew, no.

It’s so bright I feel it in my retinas.

I’m glad you guys are looking at the bright side of life 😊

When you swipe your credit card and leave a generous tip, of course!

Oops, they only managed to uncover systematic sex abuse. Better luck next time, dang it.

What in the fresh hell is this? 💀

And don’t try to stand in some place idly outside for more than a minute. They call that “loitering” and it’s the barbaric act of experiencing being alive in public without spending a dime.

Seggs

Maybe they a word

Nah, those are and will always be free–if you’re lucky. 😼😹 Grab 'em while you can (without bite marks).

Avocados for your avocado toast. Smh.

I think they meant to say modern American, no?

I hope Trump turns out to be the best president in history. Prove me wrong, conservatives. I want to hear how it’s going by the fourth year.

While I mostly agree, but let’s not underestimate Chinese education and the culture built around overachieving.

If my stupid family members is any indication, by “great economy” they mean they got one or two paychecks in the mail during Covid: “He made me rich!” Yes he did, you minimum wage slave.